Apr. 18th, 2017

hera: chel holdin' apple (Default)
Mild grousing:

I feel happier, better, and more awake if I get up at 6AM.

I am a hellbeast of discontent if I don't get seven and a half or more hours of sleep.

The reason I stopped getting up at 6AM is because half of my friends get off at 5PM, and the other half are just nightowls whoare more awake and chatty AFTER5PM. Which is the point I start viciously flagging, if I get up at six.
hera: chel holdin' apple (Default)
I made a pizza that totals around 1200 calories, managed five slices (they're small),  and in thirty minutes, was in enough pain that I was dry heaving in a parking lot. That's great. Haven't had that experience in awhile

I've been asleep since, like, seven, because HURTS TOO MUCH TO BE AWAKE, and I just took more ibuprofen, so I'm going back to bed. Because despite a second enzyme pill AND ibuprofen, I'm still in too much pain to sit up for long periods of time. Thanks, body.

My sister was like "if it weren't for your job, I'd make you smoke pot", which: aright, I am starting to hit that point. What's a ten hour drive to Michigan, really? Apparently, I'll be sleeping through it either way!

(I'm not in a bad mood or anything, I'm just.. grimly amused that this seems to happen anytime I go above, like, eight hundred calories: my body just shuts the duck down. I don't want this fucked up, pain induced eating disorder, haha!  It's not doing me any goddamn favours.)
hera: chel holdin' apple (Default)
In more cheery news:

> endlessly delighted that I know people still using le sigh

> mildly weirded out by my preference for women in their thirties? they're hot, do not want to date! Which I tried half heartedly explaining, but, like.. hM. I am a little mean, I guess? My age range for actually dating is probs a late 20-early 21, bc that's when I graduated and so it doesn't feel like "I'm picking romantic partners straight from class, GREAT", to twenty eight. So four years, either way!

Because after twenty eight, I expect people to be in a good trajectory! Like, either you're in graduate school, or else you're climbing in a position that you enjoy, or else you're climbing UP to a position you enjoy or that pays well. You are On Your Way.

Thirty should be a point that you're ESTABLISHED. I do not want to date someone who's already setting up the foundations of a life, when I'm still figuring out mine, and I don't want to date someone who, by thirty, isn't - I'd end up getting frustrated, because you're either on my level, or you're /not/, and this is one of those standards that I could lower, but why would I ever?

I think in my urge not to sound like a huge bastard, I came across as a huge killjoy, though. Oh, well. If there's not a big life experience gap between 24 and 30, that IS a character flaw, afaic, and no one deserves to deal with my shit over that.

> I need to remember that I'm deeply tetchy when I'm in pain, and treat my reactions and responses accordingly, haha.

>  I think I mildly angered a different friend, but on the note of being tetchy, I'm not sure I actually care. My current resolution is very much "not my problem", but I think I'm being mean, because of the aforementioned pain thing? Bluh. I'll have to ask people and get opinions, I guess.

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hera: chel holdin' apple (Default)
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