hera: chel holdin' apple (Default)
[personal profile] hera
 On top of everything else, my mums former bff and my pseudo aunt is being alarming and suicidal siren warning signs on FB, and I have no idea what to do, or how to help. We're not close. I don't really get her, and like - she's got so many of the same issues as my mum, but there's an unfortunate class gap that she's hyperaware of and that I don't know how to bridge, either.

I am just. There is too much on my plate lately, and I think saying that you can't handle something is largely a cop out - of course I can fucking handle whatever gets put on my plate. What's the alternative? You either keep moving until it gets better or falls into a rhythm, or else.. there really is no other option? Always putting one foot in front of the other is just part of being an adult.

But I don't really want to handle it. I am, and I can, and I will, but goddamn if climbing into a hole for a few years and not coming out isn't a great fantasy right now.

Oh, well, I just need to pile up on shit that's not stressful to balance it out. And figure out what that is, because I'm out of books again, ugh.

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hera: chel holdin' apple (Default)
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