hera: chel holdin' apple (Default)
[personal profile] hera
Haha, aww, my dad walked back into my room, gave me a hug, and was like "I NEVER SAY THIS, BUT THANK YOU, BABE, YOU'RE A LITTLE RAY OF SUNSHINE IN MY LIFE and you're always what you're supposed to be." My mother does not really tolerate physical affection in the house! I am vaguely teary now, pfff.

1) I'm up and walking. Mostly. I guess it's nice that this struck on the day I'm going in to the doctor, because I've got to convince her I still want to go to this clinic, and there are other problems going on than just whatever the pancreatic enzymes are addressing."

2) I am still pissed over the J thing, remarkably, mostly because people keep messaging me like "don't they have three younger sisters? what the fuck is going on in that house?" YEAH, SORRY, I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW AT THIS POINT. Writing weird fucking incest porn is one thing, writing weird fucking incest porn that makes you say "oh, incest isn't that bad, why do people stigmatise it?" while you're the oldest sibling is a bit Kill Bill sirens, for fuck's sake.

3) I'm weirded out by birthdays. People make such a big deal out of them, and then it's like.. I know a lot of people! I know dozens of people who I am fairly certain think we are way closer than we actually are. I do not hide my birthday. I usually get one or two "Happy Birthday's!", and my only gifts are from my sister and mother.

Am I.. doing something wrong? I don't care enough to mention it frequently, but it's mildly surreal to get "oh, when did you turn twenty four?" from people I've known for years, thoroughly normalise things, and then turn around to big deals. OH WAIT PEOPLE USUALLY GIVE EACH OTHER GIFTS. AND HANG OUT. AND ALL OF THAT.

... also kind of weirded out, because I have a semi strict policy of not doing things for people's birthdays if they failed to, like, even acknowledge mine, and now I'm wondering if that's dickish? I don't think so! Especially because, like.. I still get gifts for the people that I'm fondest of, regardless, and I used to give people big, showy gifts all the time. I just stopped when I realised I was getting slightly resentful of, like.. putting all of this time/effort/thought into trying to brighten someone's day and it wasn't reciprocated.

But maybe I should still be doing it? I don't know. Weird feelings here.

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hera: chel holdin' apple (Default)
ox-eyed

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