hera: chel holdin' apple (Default)
[personal profile] hera
 Festival season! I fucking love festivals, haha, even when they're little rinky dink ones - there is something deeply pleasant to me about the entire atmosphere of having so many people out at once, but not actually having to interact with any of them.

I'm feeling better about most stuff this morning. I think my ennui this weekend was partially pain, partially just plain old exhaustion, and partially, like.. idk, I started bleeding on Friday, and that never lasts longer than three days, and I don't normally get cramps? But that might have been the cause of my constant puking.

But I'm feeling much better. Incredibly fucking tired, though, haha. Oh well. :[ I've got a gift I need to package today, then a cake to make over the weekend, and then the next set of gift occasions are, like.. July 16th, iirc, and then the August bbs, and then I'm doneee until November. +^+

Interesting fact, though: I hate that I get needy when I'm ill, haha. I know it's not endearing! I wish I could, like just.. not? But my brain gets stuck in a "I FEEL AWFUL, I WISH I HAD PEOPLE HERE, PAYING ATTENTION TO ME" loop, and it just doesn't stop, even when I was actively sprawled across someone's lap, talking to them, and typing on my phone at the same time. orz Like, it it actually physically impossible to have more attention at that point? I think my brain just associates attention with pain relief, because of the distraction implicit in interactions and the comfort of having folks around. Except that doesn't always work, and then it's just like "OKAY, BUT WHAT IF MORE ATTENTION?"

I am mostly certain that this does not show, though, so I'm not too grumpy over it. If I can keep my whininess to myself, then it doesn't really matter, haha.


hera: chel holdin' apple (Default)

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