Apr. 9th, 2017

hera: chel holdin' apple (Default)
Invisalign is fucking surreal. I keep biting my lip and my teeth aren't hitting where my brain says they should. Or else I touch my tongue to them and my brain's like "you've got a milimeter to g-- never mind!"

I'm in such a weird mood, haha. I'm supposed to call at eleven to remind folks that we're going out, but I dunno if I want to go out. I keep sending things to people and then deleting them, because I'm.. not sure if I want to talk to people? The thought of dealing with anyone or anything is making me wilt, but the idea of being alone is equally unappealing right now. This is not a mood I am capable of really winning in. x)

Especially because I'm being needy. I do not like neediness, especially when it's coming from me, haha. There is something frustrating about wanting affirmation when I already full and well know that people enjoy my company. You're supposed to outgrow this! I know you can't control emotions, and what matters is controlling your portrayal - but I wish I could just shove everything in a box, and make them do what I want them to do. :[

whatever. I'll suck it up, and I'll go, and I'll have fun, and hopefully I'll actually buy shit. The problem is likely that I've just been in my own head too much lately. I'm about to go get dressed and help my sister do yardwork, because I feel like a wet rag right now, and.. maybe manual labor will help that out.

Or maybe I just need a break from the internet for awhile? I keep getting low-key frustrated with people, and I can't tell if it's over-exposure to certain folks, or if I've just been in a mood lately. Some of it is reasonable, and I just.. legitimately don't care enough to argue about it, or make people uncomfortable by debating things they think are fine, so I haven't said anything. But other bits are more.. probably just me being low energy, I think, and projecting my general ennui outwards.

.. I'd say a break from IRL folks, too, but hahaha, that's a little harder. Thank god tomorrow's Monday, and I have the lovely excuse of a work week to seclude myself until I'm being rational again.
hera: chel holdin' apple (Default)
Alright, bad mood was entirely just being cooped up in the house and sulking over Saturday morning, haha. but I'm in a much better mood now. Did not end up buying anything, but did split a pasta dish, eat a pierogi, eat six squares of pizza, split ice-cream and eat most of a giant-ass samosa, without having anything past mild discomfort.

Guess I'm not lactose-intolerant after all! My pancreas is just a worthless organ that I'm going to sell on the black market for chitlings. \o/ I'm so grateful, I want to buy this doctor a fucking bouquet, and see if she can refer me to like, anyone who can figure out the rest of it. because I like eating! I really, really fucking like eating. But I also like not fainting or having my nails turn blue and being able to regulate my own temperature. x)

But on the note of stuff that's been bugging me, quick tally of shit to knock it off my chest and solutions, so I'll stop brooding.

Read more... )Read more... )Read more... )
hera: chel holdin' apple (Default)
I feel amazing, life is amazing, and also, haha, people are HUGE SWEETHEARTS AND I LOVE THEM.💖💖💖💖


hera: chel holdin' apple (Default)

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