Jun. 7th, 2017

hera: chel holdin' apple (Default)
 It is vaguely surreal to realise that, like, I'm back at the three closest people in my life right now being internet friends and my sister. It's not that I don't like meatspace people! It's just that I prefer to keep them more distant? There's like, a very short list of people who I trust would not gossip about my life, or cause me difficulties trying to help, and.. I have different friends for different purposes, I don't really have more than 3-5 all around people, which is how I classify close.

And then my list of close internet friends is, like.. I'd sulk if Cass stopped talking to me, but I'd stress the fuck out if Bel or Cloud did, pfff. And get over it, obviously: I've dumped or ghosted on enough people to know that it happens, you let yourself wallow for a day, then you roll on.

But IDK, IDK. I've complained about this before, but it's weird to have people that I am invested in sufficiently that I would care if they ghosted on ME. Like, y, I'd be worried if a couple of other people disappeared - I am inordinately fond of Mirk, and Sibyl ditching me for brief bursts has always caused Actual Distress, but it's not personal in those cases, haha.

.. IDK, IDK. I'm so much more comfortable having people be more invested in ME than I am in them, haha! But I guess everyone does? x) I am perfectly aware this is a relatively normal thing, too, it's just.. something I think about occasionally and go HM.


hera: chel holdin' apple (Default)

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